My career needs a turn. I’ve felt this coming for awhile. I’m taking steps there, but it’s a tough time to jump ship – or maybe it’s the perfect time to jump ship. I don’t know. I am not brave enough to leap it would seem.

Home is wonderful, blessed, comfortable, but lacking purpose. Maybe it’s the question all empty-nesters face: What am I going to do now? Maybe it’s my age that makes me wonder what it is exactly that I’ve been doing all this time. But the question that wakes me in the night and keeps me from falling back into slumber – What is it that I am supposed to be doing? – just keeps vibrating in my heart, resonating in my soul, pushing me to beg for answers and call it prayer. Truth is, I do not know.

In search of answers, I read an article recently that suggested asking what my childhood self would have predicted I’d be doing now. She would have said I’d be an author, certainly. Much as my mother once said. My mother also said I’d perhaps be a teacher (which I am) or a lawyer (which I’ll never be, unless you count being a mother, which, I technically think involves a LOT of lawyering.)

So I am here. To write. To put thought to metaphorical paper. To try to examine where I’ve been, what I’m doing and where I am headed. I’ll admit, I don’t have big ambitions. My 8 year-old self would be perfectly happy if I just wrote a story for the sake of writing, not because anyone would ever actually read it. Although, she’d like a reader, too.

In another, similar exercise to figure out what I should be doing, I was encouraged to write down the moments in each day that brought me joy. What I learned from that process was that, in addition to knowing I need to write, I often find joy in the smallest of God’s creation. Sure, I will marvel at the majesty of the mountains. Certainly, I have stood in awe of the ocean. No doubt, I will be humbled by the redwoods. But day-to-day, I am awed, and humbled and marvel at the smallest of things. A leaf, an egg, a cool rock. Reminders that as small as I am in this universe, I, too, have beauty and purpose and gifts to share.

Join me, on my reflective journey. About life, about love, about gratitude in all the blessed little things that surround us.