She had heard the news yesterday and came straight to my classroom this morning to talk. Through tears, she tried to explain how all of what James and I are going through is taking her back to her mom’s battle with cancer, a battle she sadly lost a few years ago.

“I’ve known you for a long time,” she said, “since before you met James. And I know that he is the love of your life,” she sobbed, “just like my mom and dad were. And I just… I just…” she couldn’t finish for the tears.

“He is the love of my life,” I agreed, “and this is our story now.”

I have used those same words more than once with James since the diagnosis. “This isn’t your battle alone,” I reassured him, “this is our battle, this is our story. We are in this together.”

I remember a lifetime ago, sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen, after she and my granddad had moved off the farm and “into town”. Granddad was in a wheelchair and Grandma spent her days as his nurse and companion, with little more to do that look after him, cook the meals and keep the home clean. Sitting at her table, I was asking her about how they met and what their early years together were like. Sharing memories with me, she grew quiet and then added, “I didn’t think it would be like this.” My heart ached for her that day and every time I have thought of it since.

I have always said James and I had a great “how you met” story. Two people at a bar in Michigan figuring out they had lived two miles apart in Pennsylvania without meeting there. That night was full of laughter and joy and since then, we have built the life we dreamt of. But now, staring down the barrel of treatments without a cure and a pre-existing condition that greatly complicates immunotherapy options, I have to agree with Grandma, I sure didn’t think it would be like this.

As I talked with James tonight I said again, “this is our story,” but I added, “I don’t want it to ever be a sad one.” I have to figure out how to bring joy into every moment that we have. None of us know how many days we have left together, we just happen to have a doctor who is putting a slightly more precise number on it for us. I don’t want to spend that time in tears, I want to spend it laughing, the way our story began.

This is our story, afterall. If anyone can decide how it goes, it’s us.