A couple years ago, I shared with friends a funny story about James coming home one day with the volume so high in his truck that I could hear the music from the road, a good distance from our house. As he pulled up closer to the garage, I could see him just singing away to the song and I laughed out loud when I realized it was Katy Perry he was rocking out to.

The story became legend and the song was played at several of our bonfire nights, always giving James the opportunity to show off his unabashedly funny side as he would belt out the lyrics (getting at least some of them right) to the crowd. That friend of mine still can’t hear the song today and not think about James singing his guts out to the tune.

I was wrong, in my last post, apparently my plate was not, in fact, yet full. The night before his third scheduled immunotherapy treatment on Tuesday, which we were pretty stoked about because the oncologist had been quite concerned about the first two treatments initially, worried that James would have a severe reaction, and so hitting the milestone of the third felt like a major win – but no, on Monday night, just as he was going to bed, James got his third COVID test results back and this time they were positive. Two negatives but now a positive.

Treatment was canceled, our entire trip to see the oncologist was canceled and our feelings of success were canceled as well.

But we did not let it get us down. We turned it around and decided this was actually good news. James has been absolutely miserable the last week or ten days. It seemed like his symptoms from treatment or just the cancer itself had just worsened over that time but now this diagnosis gave us new hope. Perhaps these symptoms were just COVID symptoms and that was very fixable! It might take a couple of weeks, but there was hope that this cough, this complete exhaustion might just be from COVID and not new or growing tumors. THAT felt like a win.

And even today, after a trip to the ER when his breathing got worse again, causing concern and alarm, we are still trying to see it all as a win. The respiratory ER doctor didn’t hear anything in James’ lungs that was worrisome (at least with regard to COVID, we know there are tumors in there), his oxygen levels were good and the CT scan came back with great flying colors (again, at least as far as COVID is concerned). And even better, tomorrow morning, James will go get the antibody therapy for COVID which will hopefully help eliminate some of these problematic symptoms entirely.

So, as I sit here and reflect on recent events and all the ways I feel like we just cannot catch a break; and I think about my day today, worried about James, at home, barely getting out of bed – I know how miserable I was with COVID just a week ago, and I don’t have tumors inside my lungs to make matters worse – even today, when I had a missed call from James on my cell and then my classroom phone rang and I knew he needed me right this minute; even then, running out of my school, offering prayers of gratitude for such amazing colleagues and administors, driving faster than I should have to get him to the ER, even now, thinking about all of this, I don’t feel exasperated. I don’t feel powerless. I don’t feel victimized or weak. I feel quite the opposite.

If this is the plate that life is serving up for us, if freaky weird, scary cancer wasn’t enough last year, if it must come back with a vengeance this year, and if on top of that we not only both have to suffer miserably through COVID, but we have to reach the point of drop-everything pray I don’t get pulled over drives to the ER, then I say BRING IT ON!

We are warriors in this house. And we have an army of people praying for us. So BOO-YAH COVID! You are not taking us down today. And BOO-YAH cancer – get it in line because you are next to be defeated!