A few weeks ago, James and I had a very sudden realization that I was done with school and we were in between treatments and within 24 hours we had the car packed and we were headed south to Tennessee to see Dad and Judy. Our intention was to stay several days and hit an appointment at U of M on our way home but we didn’t make it several days. The trip was more than James could handle and we only realized that once we made the 10 1/2 hour drive and he was in bed nearly the entire time we were there. He really tried to be social, but he was in incredible pain and he was completely exhausted and so we left earlier than we had planned and made the difficult journey back home where he could get slightly more comfortable and sleep without guilt.

The most recent scans were discouraging at best. Tumor growth and spread, which made the decision to stop immunotherapy and switch to BRAF inhibitors easier – at least as far as wanting to suppress symptoms was concerned – but incredibly difficult when you know that immunotherapy is a way to get more years (when it works) and the inhibitors can only buy us months at best. But we knew James needed pain and symptom relief and to get that we had to use a treatment that was going to effectively shrink the tumors, even if that treatment didn’t have the longevity of the other.

We saw improvement almost immediately. Within just a few days he had his energy back and within a week he was eating almost normal meals. We took advantage of the change and headed to the east side of Michigan to visit friends and family and his hometown.

While the trip only lasted three and a half days, it felt like weeks of pure bliss and delight. We crossed over to Canada to see relatives and had a wonderful afternoon talking, reminiscing and laughing together. We spent a day in his hometown, pointing out places and talking about childhood memories. We capped off that great day with friends that were so instrumental to James’ early adulthood – people I felt an instant connection to despite never having personally met before. We spent time around the lakes and rivers, we spent time eating amazing food, we spent time just sitting on a balcony watching the freighters go by. And we capped off our trip with good friends who filled our hearts with such support, encouragement and laughter! We got to enjoy the company of children and of friends that last a lifetime.

We returned home to peaches nearly ripened on the trees, to fresh zucchini, a handful of blueberries and raspberries and a thriving garden after much-needed rain. Best of all, we returned home with plans to see more family in the coming weeks, including another trip to the water in August where we will spend more time watching boats, laughing and eating amazing food with amazing company.

We are learning to live in the moment and to expect nothing from tomorrow. We are learning to say what is on our hearts and minds and to make sure the people we love know how deeply we care about them. We are learning to do more than just sit, relax, and breathe together – we are learning to savor – for these are the moments we want to store in our hearts.

We know this energy and health won’t last forever. We will continue to pray that it does, but we will also listen to his oncologist and to the data and science behind this disease and we will continue to prepare for that inevitability. But, we will also take as much time out of every single day to find, celebrate and savor joy. To everyone we saw along our trip this past week, a deep and heartfelt thank you – for all that you mean to James and because of that, for all that you mean to me. Your love is deep and generous and unconditional and that is such a blessing to us both.