Today’s crisis is brought to you by the Health Insurance Nightmare of America. (Every day it’s something, isn’t it?)

Let’s see, yesterday was my last day – a post all in itself. I had friends come over later to help take apart things (bed, tables, etc.) and to take home some plants (have I mentioned how hard it is for me to part with some of my babies?!) Then we took an hour or so to engage in fantasy football draft. PRIORITIES PEOPLE!! Let’s just say I got Tom Brady but the rest is questionable (Seattle defense?!?)

Today we have finished boxing most everything, returned the DVR to the cable company, signed some papers at the realtor’s office and are now awaiting the piano movers to arrive. G has landed at the airport and is going to enjoy a leisurely lunch and get some work done until we’re able to go pick him up.

And then it’s time to…wait for it…

Move it! Move it! I want to move it, move it!!

Tomorrow it’s MICHIGAN OR BUST!!

Today was LM’s last day with his dad. We had spoken briefly about the arrangements to get him back home but nothing had been confirmed. I called J this morning to verify that I was picking up LM after work. J was terse with me. Short, curt, blunt. He wasn’t much like himself. He thought we had agreed to plans and I was picking up LM after work. I said that was what I understood, too, but reminded him that sometimes LM doesn’t tell anyone involved what plan has been decided upon. He agreed and warmed slightly. I told him I had found his high school diploma amongst my hope chest items while packing and would drop it off. He didn’t seem to care.

I called LM on my way to work. He seemed fine. Said he had said goodbye to his dad the night before. He seemed to think everything had gone well. He was quiet and I couldn’t read him well. I told him I’d pick him up around 6, perhaps a few minutes before. He said fine and that was that.

Around noon I tried to call LM, just to see how his day was going, but he didn’t answer. I thought it odd, since the boy has had his new cell phone glued to his hip since the moment he got it. I tried again a couple hours later. Voicemail.

I didn’t really feel the panic take hold of my throat, I just know that all of a sudden it was there. Fear. What if his dad did something irrational? What if J just took LM and ran? What if he really wasn’t as okay with this whole move as he let on? I know it’s dramatic and irrational, but all I could think was all those times I’ve heard a wife or a mother say during a TV interview, “I never would have suspected he was capable of…”

I couldn’t leave work and I didn’t want to call J. If I was wrong and everything was okay, I would be interrupting his day once again to remind him of how we were leaving. I kept checking my voicemail, waiting for LM to call me back.

At five, while the girls at work begged me to go ask a cute police officer in the fitness center if he was single (for their sake, not mine) I picked up my phone one last time to see no messages, no missed calls. It was then I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. Maybe it’s just too much stress at one time. Maybe it’s just too many newscasts viewed. Maybe it’s just that things seemed to be going well. But I panicked.

I must have looked scared because one of the women at work asked if I was okay, I said, “No, I can’t get ahold of LM.” She knew it was his last day with his dad and she read my panic well. I grabbed my pocketbook and rushed out the door. I prayed the whole 7 miles to J’s house. I pulled in and ran up the walk and heard LM say, “Hi, Mom” as I approached the door.

I don’t know how I kept the tears back. I don’t know how I kept it together. I didn’t want him to know how I scared I was. I didn’t want him to know what my mind had even thought for a moment might be true. I didn’t want him to taste fear like that.

I woke up at 5am and realized what had happened.

Every day I pray on my way to work. 40 minutes of conversation with God more to remind myself that He is in control than to ask for anything on my behalf. I pray that he keeps my heart calm. I pray that he keeps me from being anxious. I pray for peace of mind, for confidence, for security. I want to pray for a job the week I move. I want to ask that He makes the sale of the house go well. But I know that He knows what’s best for me. The things I ask for might be all the wrong things (a lesson I’ve learned well in my life). But I pray.

And I wonder, most days, how do I know that I’m doing what He would want? My pastor recently put it into a concept I could get my mind around. “If it draws you closer to God, it’s God’s plan.” So simple, but it made my choices seem so much easier to evaluate with that in mind. But still, somedays, I wish God had Verizon wireless.

But what woke me at 5am was remembering the day before. Remembering the boy and his mom who came to sign up for swim team. I remember how much I had wished I wasn’t sitting at the service rep desk because I didn’t want to do another registration, but that I happily took their request and registered them. They were really sweet people, an adorable mom and son tandem. They reminded me of LM and myself.

At one point, while the mom was writing out her check, I made conversation with the boy. He delighted me so. He wasn’t perfectly behaved, wasn’t strictly manicured, he was real. and fun and lively and articulate. Like LM. And so I commented on his necklace, a long silver chain with some sort of shield. He immediately took it off and handed it to me so I could look at it more closely. I studied it in my hand, but the design was simple and I wasn’t sure what warranted the closer inspection. I said, “It’s cool.” He said, “Turn it over.”

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

How it took me until 5am to realize God spoke directly to me through that delightful child I will never know. But words couldn’t have been more hand picked for me than those.

– The story doesn’t need anything more to it to make it remarkable in my opinion, but in conversation with the mother I learned that this boy attends one of the Christian schools in town. I mentioned that LM went to that school but just for one year for preschool. I laughed, remembering that year and said, “That was the first time LM had been in school and he got in trouble because he was hugging all the kids. I never got over the teacher pulling me aside and telling me – in a Christian school no less – that I needed to speak with my son and get him to stop hugging everyone!” I no sooner had the words out of my mouth than this boy says, “I remember that kid! He had blonde curly hair!” Yep, that’s my LM. God made such a small, small world, didn’t He?

I could tell stories about this boss, but you wouldn’t believe me. I’m just going to close the door on bad management and hope that I don’t have a similar experience anytime soon.

Today seemed forever long. Work was a drag and full of junior high-ish nonsense. Got home late, after my dear friend was already long waiting outside my door with dinner and the painting dude was already here to spackle and repair holes (have I mentioned how many pictures I hang?) They waited patiently for me, however, and joined me when I finally arrived. The plumber came a bit later and declared my disposal unfixable. For another $200, however, we found it to be replaceable, and hopefully have put aside any reason to complain by the potential buyers. The HVAC guy comes in the morning to give me his proclamation on the complaint the buyer’s inspector had. Hopefully it’s a simple fix and we’ll be on our way.

I didn’t pack. I’m plum out of boxes and no one that I called had any to give away. They said I could pick up some tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll get that squared away. I don’t need many, but I do need some.

I wrote a couple checks and mailed off a couple change of address and cancel accounts letters. I need to do more of that tomorrow. I’m quickly losing track of the things I would normally be doing at this time and hate to forget a bill that’s due.

For now, however, Eli is already curled up beside me and Jonah is on the table next to the bed. I think we’re all ready for some much needed sleep. Eating a real dinner tonight (albeit cold take-out) was so foreign that my stomach is doing flips. Or maybe that’s just nerves. I only put the house on the market 18 days ago. In three days we leave it all behind.

I packed this morning until I ran out of boxes. Then I cleaned and tried to make the house NOT look like I was moving in 5 days because the inspector (and buyer) were coming today at 4. I’m not sure I was very successful. I had a long talk with Eli and asked him to behave himself while everyone was here. Jonah, too. I’m not sure they listened either.

I made a few phone calls to stop direct withdrawals from this checking account. I have several more calls to make to change my address on half a dozen bills.

And I gave notice.

It was ugly. But I stayed calm and didn’t give any retort. I just let my manager be her typical, unprofessional self. And I said a silent prayer that I have learned whatever lesson God wanted me to learn from this sort of manager that I might never have to deal with someone like her again. I am hoping in the next couple of days to at least speak briefly (and privately) with a couple people higher up in the rankings in some sort of exit interview fashion. I won’t slam my boss, I’ll remain professional, but I would hope that the input I provide might at least make them more aware of the sort of person they need to hire to replace me (no morals, no life, no backbone…)

Now I’m home, snuggled up with one cat and one dog hoping to hear that there was nothing so significant in the inspection that I can’t get it fixed in the next four days. That is, if the buyer even makes me aware of anything in the next four days.

On the agenda for Tuesday: pick up more boxes, pack a few of them, get address changed for all bills and confirm with piano movers as to exact time of their availability. Oh and sleep. Did I mention sleep? Cause I’m not getting so much of it lately!

I worked today. But I didn’t get to give notice (my whole four days of notice) because my boss doesn’t work on Sundays. No one works on Sundays. Except me. Oh yeah, reason #476 why I hate this job. I need to get through tomorrow and the whole giving notice thing and then I’ll really breathe easier.

Did I pack today? Well, no. I had help packing yesterday and so I feel somehow a day ahead. How that can be when I only have SIX DAYS UNTIL I MOVE FOUR STATES AWAY I don’t know, but work with me, football is on.

The most significant part of my day today: I canceled my cable. May we have a moment of silence please. As of Friday morning I will officially be cable-less. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope. Until a job is landed, I just can’t justify a cable bill (I figure if I have to stop supporting starving children in Africa for the time being, I have to stop watching cable). I just want to give this warning to my sis and Bear, if I don’t land a job fast that supports my cable addiction, I’ll be spending a lot of Sunday and Monday nights at your house watching football. And by ‘watching football’ I actually mean doing nothing BUT watching football.

So, that’s today. Tomorrow, I give notice and make more phone calls to cancel things and I need to get a few more medium size boxes.

And did I mention the buyer is doing their inspection tomorrow afternoon? Yeah, not worried at all. (was that at ALL convincing?)

Voila. 6 to go.

I can tell you are concerned about my lack of packing so I made it a priority today. I spent the morning running errands, picking up boxes, getting newspapers, making a stop at the bank and the post office. I had several things to get in the mail and needed to fill out change of address forms. I had written my g’ma a letter a few weeks ago, and carried it around in my pocketbook without ever mailing it. I wrote another one last week to go with it, to update her on all our activities. At the post office, I grabbed the two yellow sheets and put them in an envelope and mailed them but when I got home, I found one of the two letters in my pocketbook still. I had to call G’ma and tell her I have no idea what I just mailed her, but it could be all kinds of moving information that I had written down. Oh.My.

I decided which plants I’m taking with me and which I’m giving away. I packed 90% of my room, including my bathroom. I have almost all of the living room packed up. My former co-worker K came by tonight and she helped me pack up all of LM’s books and a bunch of stuff from the kitchen. I need to get more newspaper to get the kitchen finished up.

I spoke with the piano movers tonight, we’re confirmed for the move, but they’ll let me know if they are going to come Thursday night or Friday afternoon. I had an email from church friends saying they are coming to help us load heavy stuff later in the week. What a wonderful relief! I owe a whole post to these wonderful people.

Now I’m watching NASCAR and the heat lightning that is dancing across the sky tonight. Eli is asleep under the coffee table (standard storm location) and I’m dreading going to work tomorrow. Still can’t give notice, my boss doesn’t work on Sundays. Will have to give four days’ notice on Monday. Nice, huh?

Enjoy your weekend! (Don’t worry, I’ll do more packing tomorrow night!)

Today I:
– worked 8 hours at my former job (they pay well!!)
– sent registration materials to LM’s new school and talked with the guidance counselor about what classes he’d be interested in. He’s going to a magnet school, so he’ll get to take Computer Programming, advanced Math and Science, Band and Video Production (amongst English, Social Studies and the like!)
– Rented a moving truck (and a dolly!)
– Ate cornbread with some of Stacy’s wild raspberry jam! YUM!!

And now? I’m watching the Patriots. I know, you thought I’d pack a box or two, wouldn’t ya? I’ll do that tomorrow. I’m efficient that way!

So, we took the offer. And we’re moving….

NEXT WEEK!!!

(No, I’m not kidding)

So what are we doing tonight? Booking a flight for my moving help (G), renting a moving van, watching Karate Kid and oh yeah, LM’s busy pulling teeth (seriously). I know, we should be packing, but hey, we have, what, 8 days!!

So, now the question is, what’s going to happen first, will we become Michiganders before Newly delivers Baby Butterman? The race is on!!!

“Chris asked me to pass on our wonderful news. Jared Matthew was born on Monday August 20th at 8:15 am. He weighed in at 7 lbs 7 oz and is 20 1/2 inches long. Chris is recovering from the c-section quickly and hopefully should be home on Thursday. Thanks for all your prayers and support through this pregnancy.”

I cannot even begin to explain what beautiful people Kevin and his wife, Chris are. God put them in my life in college and I have learned so much from them about faith and courage and love. I love my son more, appreciate my blessings and have stronger faith in God because of Kevin and Chris.

A birth in the family is no small thing. I don’t need to ask God to bless their family, he so obviously already has. Tonight I ask that God continue to bless everyone touched by Kevin and Chris and their family. May we all learn something about faith and love and miracles through their example.

Welcome, baby Jared. You are loved by Mom and Dad, Rebecca and Allison, and watched over by Andrew and Abigail.