When you normally write a creative, homemade Christmas card and letter, and mail it faithfully every single year on December 1st, when it’s 6 days before the first and your sister emails you saying she has a good idea for hers but hasn’t developed it out entirely yet, and you confess that you haven’t even thought of an idea for yours, you’ve been so busy pouring your creativity into this blasted NaNoWriMo thing and getting ready for the cruise and trying to finish a book and all, if you send her a completed letter within 24 hours of such a confession, she will, in all honesty, hate you for life.

Now, to finish the last 8K words of my novel before midnight on Thursday.

While I reflected the other day about the positive changes that have occurred in my life over the past year, I failed to mention a hidden blessing that has impacted my daily life. Every workday I look forward to the time I spend in blogland. I have my list of favorites, which has evolved and changed over the months, but there have been some blogs that have transcended just words on a page. I have truly enjoyed getting to know all of you out there in blogland. I have thought of many of you throughout my days, not just while I read. It has been a rewarding experience to get to know you and to interact with you through this medium. To you, I dedicate my gratitude today.

To Newlywifed: It was so fun to read snippets from the first year of your marriage. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the ups and downs, the joys and struggles in your eloquent and funny style. I am thankful that you chose to write them down and to allow all of us to peek in and see a piece of your life.

To UC: You are always a delight to read. We are perhaps, nothing at all alike and it is the different perspective that always makes me smile. You are funny and intelligent and beautiful and you truly have such a kind spirit. I’m glad to know you, UC.

Wendy, Photographer Extraordinaire: Your eye through the lens is tremendous and your ability to take it even further in Photoshop is an enviable skill. Thank you for sharing your photos with us. On a dull rainy day, I enjoy looking through all your flowers and birds and gardens. You have surrounded yourself with beauty, inside and out!

Notes: Katrina, my girl, we would be such friends if we lived closer, don’t you think? I am so grateful for your faith and your willingness to share it. Every thing you write comes through with a smile and a laugh. You are full of love and kindness and it comes shining through.

Texas: It won’t be long until there is a second little one in your house and the journey has been fun for all of us who read! You have such clever perspectives and insights on life and such an incredibly giving personality. I wish you, the Petite, Cutlet and the new pork chop all the best in the world!

Gorilla: Girl, you are hysterical! You are full of such funny stories and creative takes on life. You keep me from taking anything too seriously! I love how you tell a story and make it so much funnier by your wording and description. You truly have a talent for writing!

Bearca: First of all, if you said nothing at all on your blog and only posted photos of that adorable little one it would be enough. He is truly a beautiful child! I have enjoyed the tidbits of your life that you share with the world. I’m still waiting for that post that explains why your blog is called “Bearca”!!

Poka: My favorite post from 2005 (as many of you know) and the reason I got hooked on reading other blogs was your “294” post. This year, it was, by far, the “He Came Back” post. You are so sweet and so fun and so kind hearted, Poka. Thanks for sharing a bit of you with me.

Slush: What a year!! 2006 brought a son into this world for you and 2007 will bring him home. I cannot express how amazing it has been to travel parts of this journey with you. I am so excited for you and your family, and especially for the incredible life little Julio will have.

Ramblings: You epitomize for me what a young Colorado girl is like. Your love for the outdoors, for people, for family and friends shines through your writing. I love reading about your travels and your relationships, they all blend together on this road of life.

Out of Character: Holy smokes can you write! If I need a good hearty laugh, I know exactly which blog to read first! You are so incredibly gifted at humor! What a fun way to enjoy life!

Blunder: It’s all about the photos, dude. Amazing, amazing stuff. Each and every day I take a moment and just think, “wow.”

Behind the Stove: So many things about you are fascinating, but I especially love all the books you are involved with. From your quotes to your metaphors to what’s on your bedside table, you live and breathe books. Thanks for sharing some of that joy with us.

Jenny: Fellow Patriots fan – if ever I make it north, I hope you’ll meet me for lunch somewhere. You are a fun, clever, loving mom and wife and I relate in so many ways. You are not allowed to stop writing, I enjoy your blog far too much!

Pink: I have learned so much from you this past year. I have enjoyed your thoughts on your Bible studies and sermons, I enjoy the library notes you share with us and the inside librarians perspective. I have related well to struggles you have with some friendships, and truly enjoy the daily bits of you that you share with me.

Peter: GO RED SOX!! I do not follow any team with the vigor and dedication that you follow the BoSox, but I have truly enjoyed getting my daily does of Red Sox news from you each day. Thanks for keeping me informed!

Everywhere Man: You live the quintessential bachelor’s life, traveling around, meeting people, parties, events, sports. Being a single mom, it’s like a glimpse into “opposite world”. I enjoy the view so much, and enjoy reading about your perspective on it all!

Midwestern: When I was your age, I had been married for three years and was expecting my son. Reading about your life is like looking back at what mine might have been if I hadn’t gotten married right out of college. I wouldn’t go back and change my life, but I enjoy the perspective of yours. You are full of hope and joy, even when you are frustrated and cynical. You are a breath of fresh air.

Random: Funny, clever, witty, intelligent, creative. I could go on and on, but you would always say it better than I can.

Chaotic: You come across to me as such a sweet gentle faithful spirit. You are nurturing and devoted and it has been a real pleasure to get to know you.

Fish: In a poetry all your own, you take your readers from wherever they are and plant them firmly in your descriptions. Lost on the street of London, or walking the boys, or just out with friends, we are there in that moment, hanging on every metaphor, every scene as if we are seeing and feeling and living it on our own. You have a way with words, Fish.

Original (Jules): First of all, I cannot tell you enough how much I admire your efforts (and success!) with stopping smoking. You are strong, capable, smart, fun and generous. I’m glad you are back from your writing hiatus, I missed you while you were gone!

30something: You balance so much activity in your life and still manage to be creative in all parts of it. I don’t know how you do it! Thanks for putting your creativity out there for us to enjoy!

Far Side of the Ocean (Shell): I have just recently found you and have enjoyed each post. I look forward to getting to know you even better in ’07!

Oblivion: Down to earth, you remind me of myself in many ways (I hope you take that as a good thing!) I enjoy reading something so real, so perfectly simple that it’s so easy to relate to and enjoy.

Whoorl: Bits of bliss from everyday life, you take such simple events and make me smile and laugh and relate directly. You remind me of UC and Poka in a way, (do you all know each other?) you are all so much fun to read.

Butterfly: You are another recent addition to my daily reads but one I enjoy as much as the rest. Thanks for sharing with such honesty. I hope to get to know you better in ’07, too.

To all of you who blog, and for those who just read, thanks for making this such a fun and exciting community to be a part of. I’m so grateful for the friendships I have made here!

P.S. If you read here and have your own blog but aren’t linked, let me know!! I’m always looking for great blogs!

It would read:

My sister called today while I was at work. “Jules?” She said. I thought something must be wrong. “What’s the matter, is everything all right?” “How much stuff should come out from inside a turkey?” she asked me. “What? Why are you cooking a turkey? You hate dealing with the bird!” I went on to explain to Amy, “there is usually the neck in the main cavity, but inside the neck, if you move the flap of skin, there is usually a sack of the liver and so forth, that needs to come out, too.” “This is the most disgusting thing ever.” Amy said. “I think I’m becoming a vegetarian.”

Today Amy called me again. She’s boiling the carcass of the bird to make turkey soup. Now I know someone has abducted my sister and replaced her with an imposter. My sister would never intentionally deal with turkey bones!

– Amy’s Aside: It’s all true. I was put in charge of picking meat off the bones when I was pregnant with LM. I lasted about ten minutes before I ran off to an upstairs bathroom to privately wretch. I only dealt with the whole 24 pound bird because it was free and then a co-worker suggested I make turkey soup after I got off all the good meat. After picking out bones and vertabre and such from the broth, I don’t know that I’ll ever eat a bite of the soup, but I’ll make it nontheless. Today I am grateful that I didn’t grow up during my grandmother’s generation where I would have killed and plucked chickens to sell them for twelve cents apiece.

By the way, bringing you this blog on the eve of Thanksgiving Eve is just my way of helping you stick to your diet over the holidays. Nothing sounds appealing right now, does it? Nope, I didn’t think so.

(As a note: I’m also grateful my sister doesn’t actually have a blog. I can only imagine how much she would talk about me and my crazy life.)

A year ago, at this time, I was waiting impatiently to hear back on a job interview that eventually placed me at my current job. While this job is dreadfully dull and rarely engaging, it has, over the past year, allowed me to find a much more comfortable financial balance in my life.

A year ago, at this time, I was trying with everything I had in me to shake loose from more than one relationship that was too confusing to be labeled and too one-sided to be healthy. In the past year, I have not missed those relationships once. I feel lighter, healthier and certainly, without a doubt, happier.

A year ago, at this time, I was sifting through letters my mom had written when I was young. I spent many evenings surrounded by envelopes and pages of her handwriting with tears streaming down my face as I poured over the greatest gift I will ever receive. During this past year, the scrapbook I made for G has been read by everyone in the family and we have all come to realize what an incredible gift my grandmother gave to us by saving every single letter my mother ever wrote to her.

A year ago, I was still trying to find a solution to Gabe’s leash issues. I was constantly worried about what he would do out on a walk and felt as though neither of us were very happy with our situation. While giving him away was the hardest thing I have done in years (and didn’t go as well as I had hoped) he is now (finally) incredibly happy with a man who is incredibly happy to have him. I know we’ve done the right thing, even though it hurts.

A year ago, despite being home for the holidays, I didn’t attend church services for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I hadn’t found a church where I felt comfortable or where I knew anyone and I didn’t want to face the services alone in unfamiliar territory. This year, I will be celebrating the holidays with new friends and many many acquaintances at the church we have come to call home.

A year ago, we chose to stay home for the holidays and we didn’t see our family until the following summer making it a year that we didn’t see them at all. This year, I have been to Michigan twice, Tennessee once and will see my family during the week-long cruise in a very short while.

During this Thanksgiving week, I hope everyone takes a moment to reflect on all the blessings in their life.

During the times in my life when I was actively dating (which have been few and far between) it was fairly typical to hear of a guy through a friend, or to meet a guy online, or to meet someone while I was out that would raise my hopes and make my heart beat a little faster. But, as was always the case, in the end, whether it was after the first date, or after a few, it wasn’t meant to be. It was during these times, when my heart sunk and my confidence dropped and I felt as though it was an uphill climb I wasn’t sure I could make again, that I adapted my #1 rule of dating. The rule (for me) is that if things don’t work out, I can sulk, cry, be pissed, angry or jealous for 24 hours. And then I have to pull my head out of my butt and move on. Because life goes on. And no guy was worth more than 24 hours of my sorrow. It didn’t always work, there are a few in there who took me a lot longer to work through, but for the most part, it was a helpful reminder to me that it’s okay to be upset, but I can’t let it consume me for long. I have a child to raise. I have a career to pursue. I have a family that needs me. 24 hours and I move on.

As it turns out, the job in Michigan has been relocated to the company’s office in Grand Rapids, instead of Kalamazoo. It would defeat my purpose of moving to be more than an hour from my sister and to be ineligible for the Kalamazoo Promise (which pays college tuition) so it’s not in our interest to pursue it any further. I will continue to search for a job that will suit my interests and help us to reach our goal to relocate to Michigan. But for now, please forgive me while I take my 24 hour leave of absense and sulk just a bit.

Someone asked how conferences went (thanks for asking – it’s strange to think someone out there is actually paying attention!)

Here are my observations from conferences. They really apply to parenting in general anymore, too.

Why on earth are people afraid to give children consequences for their actions?

There I said it.

I should qualify all of this by saying my degree is in Elementary Education (not, in report binding) and my dad and step mom both were teachers, so I am at least somewhat familiar with the other side of the desk. I just don’t understand why children can persistently give their teachers (or parents) fits about a particular behavior only to have little or no consequence, or perhaps a consequence that has nothing to do with the problem behavior.

For example: Mrs. B. (LM’s teacher) said that one of the (many) ongoing issues she has with LM is that he hangs his backpack on the back of his chair (which all students are allowed to do in her classroom) but he doesn’t keep it zipped. So many many times, papers and books and such are spilling out all over the floor. Kids step on them, trip on them, have to step over them, etc. She went on for a couple of minutes about this problem. I listened. And then I said, “So don’t let him keep his backpack on his chair.” (I kept the “duh” to myself at that moment in an effort to demonstrate the respect I’m trying to teach LM.)

Or: Mrs. B. has asked LM not to keep his trumpet right by his desk. It takes up more room in the aisle than there is and again, kids are tripping over it, etc. She says that as soon as he finally moves it, the next time he has it, he puts it right back by his desk again. I explained that a) he’s afraid he’ll forget it AGAIN and when he forgets his trumpet, his horrible mean mother gets UPSET with him for leaving a $500 instrument in the unlocked school hallways. I could, perhaps, see why he doesn’t want to let it out of his sight. That said, couldn’t they reach an agreement about someplace within the classroom to keep it? She said she had, he could keep it in the coat closet (which is open to the classroom, it has no doors, so he might not be so apt to forget it). I said that sounded like a great plan. But apparently, despite agreeing to this, LM continues to put it by his desk. I said, “Have you taken it away?” “Taken it away?!” she asked. Um, yeah, you know, when he can’t put it where it belongs after you’ve repeatedly asked, then you TAKE IT AWAY. Shoot me an email so I know you have it, and he can get it back the next day.”

Or: LM hates to write. This has been true for years. They have to keep a daily writing journal and LM has actually started writing a story (ahem, guess where he got that trait from?) and so when she finally collected the journals to grade them, he was anxious to get it back. He asked her on a Friday at the end of the day if he could have it back (get this: so he could WRITE over the weekend) and she said, no, she hadn’t finished grading them yet. As it turns out, LM TOOK IT ANYWAY, which I realize is a crime punishable by death in fifth grade, but frankly, could she simply have offered him another alternative to keep him writing?! I mean, the kid who hates to write is asking to be able to continue his story IN WRITING over the WEEKEND and her answer was simply “No”?!?!?! (Okay, so this one doesn’t fit my point, it just irritated me to no end.)

So, when I spoke with LM last night, we talked about these things and the other more serious infractions of fifth grade law (like calling out without raising his hand, laughing at other student’s responses, etc.) I made a couple of suggestions (like, that maybe LM could play a little game in his head, where he could sit quietly and just LISTEN during class discussions and see how long it took until Mrs. B. said, “LM you are awfully quiet today, do you have anything to add to this discussion?”) We talked about finding ways each day to lift up or compliment his peers (and I would, too) and we could talk about that during our highs and lows time each night. He wasn’t at all aware that when his peers gave an answer that was incredibly off-base that they ACTUALLY thought it was right. He thought they were just being funny. Cause when you’re too intelligent for the people around you, you just don’t realize that they can be that far behind. Or so people tell me. But in general, we talked about how all of these things are showing a lack of respect for Mrs. B and for her classroom rules. That LM doesn’t get to decide on the rules, he has to obey the rules.

So, that was conferences. A joy all around. LM is getting two B’s because he is bored to tears, but I see nothing that will change that until middle school when he might be grouped with other bright students for all his subjects. For now, we will work on these little issues and try to continue to teach respect for those with lesser brains than ourselves (as if this applies to me) and we’ll keep plugging away at being 10.

As a parenting note: I don’t try to tell other people how to parent, but it seems logical to me that if your child cannot speak with a proper tone or with appropriate words, then they lose their privilege to speak (for a short while, it’s not a life sentence). Or, if they cannot keep their hands to themselves, or hurt another child or sibling, then they have to sit with their hands folded and can not use them for some duration of time that makes a point. If we do not teach our children that their are appropriate consequences for their actions (good and bad) then we raise the sorts of people who will grow up and sue McDonald’s because their coffee is too darn hot.

When LM was 4, he went to preschool for the first time. His teacher pulled me aside one day and said she was having trouble with LM because when she made the children stand up and say the Pledge of Allegiance, LM would SCREAM it. It was hard not to chuckle at my child’s ingenuity, but I told her that while she had 90% control (he was doing what he was told, after all) he was holding on to that 10% of defiance with all his might. And as long as he had 10%, he was winning. LM needed to learn, and continues to need to learn that elders and grown-ups deserve 100% of our respect. And as grown ups, we need to insist on having that 10% of power returned to us. If we don’t, 10% becomes 12%, and 12% becomes 15% and before we know it, we have teenagers on our hands with 85% control and no sense of respect.

I, by no means, have raised a perfect child by way of perfect parenting, and I do not pretend to know all the answers (by a long shot!) I am extremely grateful to my family and friends for their suggestions and support at each challenge I face with LM. But when I see a child misbehaving (including my own) I do not blame the child, I blame the parents. It is our responsiblity to continue to teach and teach and teach these life lessons until they are so ingrained on our children’s hearts that they live by them. Parenting is not about breaking their spirit, or forcing them into being little robots, but it is about raising Godly children who are a blessing to be around.

There are times when I wish I could put a sign on LM that says “We’re working on it” but in the meantime, we keep facing these life lessons head on with conversation, examples, biblical support and if necessary, appropriate consequences. I guess if it doesn’t work, he’ll at least have one more thing to keep him in therapy for life.

Okay, I found this over on Behind the Stove’s site and it was fun (and right!) Try it out!

K, so, for the html impaired (me!) I see that there is this new blogger version available and it’ll copy everything over and blah da blahda blah, but once I do I have to sign in with my google account? Um, I have a blogger account…

do I have to go to google and sign up for an account and THEN make the big switch? Do I have to switch? Is it better to switch?

Oh, and by the way, if everyone could just do me a little tinsy wiensy favor – stop by Newlywife’s blog and tell her you miss her. She hasn’t been posting in awhile and I’m about ready to run across the border to New Jersey and hunt her down. Hopefully she’ll come back to blogland soon (and hopefully all is well in Newly-land!)

UPDATE: I switched. I’ll let you know if I notice anything different or remarkable.

1. When I log into my yahoo mail, when my little avatar chic starts to load, she comes in bald at first. I’m scared it’s some sort of a sign that I should get used to myself without hair.
2. I am actually taking notes with me to LM’s conferences tonight.
3. I think an alien has taken over my sister. It took her a month to tell me that her family didn’t have any interest in the sting-ray excursion (so we could go ahead and book it for ourselves) and she doesn’t know if or how much cash she is taking with her for the cruise. She is the eldest. She ALWAYS knows.
4. That my brother’s roommate is called “Stubs”. I don’t want to know why.
5. That my brother is now “seeing” (not yet dating, but I don’t know the difference) a girl who majored in psychology. I wonder if G is her thesis project for her Master’s degree?
6. That my complete lack of discipline and willpower have not yet taken over my NaNoWriMo project. We’re at the halfway point and I’m halfway to 50,000.
7. The salmon dinner I cooked last night. ‘Nuf said.
8. In a search for quotes from the movie “Ghostbusters” (don’t ask why) I learned that there was actually a line in the movie suggesting that if they just got Mr. Stay Puft laid, all would be well in N.Y.
9. That I haven’t heard from the job in Michigan in way too long for my normal comfort level, but as of yet, I haven’t completely freaked out.
10. Next week is Thanksgiving. I have no plans whatsoever. Not even a household project I want to tackle.
11. That for the first week that I have worn my pedometer (in an effort to work towards the 10,000 steps-a-day goal) I have averaged a measly 2500 steps a day.
12. There was some small, white, gelatin-ish substance in my balsamic vinaigrette dressing at lunch, but I ate it anyway.
13. Listening to my downstairs neighbor having sex with her boyfriend last night at 10:30 didn’t upset me (hey, it’s wasn’t 4am!)
14. One of my co-workers will actually change the plastic bindings I put on a report to one that’s an eight of an inch smaller because she thinks the ones I use are too big (and to think I went to college for this!).
15. That NBC actually thought of canceling Studio 60. What’s next? Brothers and Sisters?