LM loves the view from 13 stories up and after 6 consecutive years of visiting the tower, he finally remembered that when we look East we’re not looking at Delaware, we’re looking ACROSS the Delaware to New Jersey!

The housing developments have certainly grown in recent years.

We watched a paper airplane launched by a pair of teenagers from the top of the tower,
float and glide for nearly 10 minutes.

We left happy and full of the contentment that comes with honoring family traditions.

I know, I promised pictures and then I never delivered. I finally got them off my camera on Tuesday and played around with some yesterday and now today I finally have time to post a few!! These are with our new digital camera, on a hiking trip a couple weekend ago.

Gorillabuns wrote a great post about single parenting. (Go ahead read it, I’ll wait….) First off, I wanted to say thanks for the shout out she threw my way – I’m flattered. Secondly, I’d like to say, I don’t deserve accolades for doing anything spectacular at all. Yes, I am a single mom, but to be completely honest, I really have a pretty cushy job. I know several single moms who have a tough row to hoe. More than one child, children still young enough to be physically demanding, no help from an ex, juggling two jobs to pay the rent, they deserve high praise in my book for making it work. There are even married parents out there that I know, who are raising children all on their own. With uncooperative or absentee second parents, they struggle like a single parent but with the live-in burden of someone completely useless. They, too, deserve a shout out. Me? No, not so much. I have one child. He’s 10 going on 35 and as independent and mature as they come. Sure, he has his moments but for the most part, he’s a really good kid. He helps around the house far more than he hinders. He does a chore every day that he’s home, which really helps ease my work load around the house. His dad is involved and faithfully contributes through child support. He chips in when there are trumpet lessons, orthodontist bills and the like without complaint. I have a job, and while it isn’t something that I’m passionate about, it more than pays the bills, affording us a very nice, new home to live in. We drive a sensible, late model car that is rarely in the shop.

I don’t want to sound at all unappreciative of someone who team parents recognizing some of the challenges that come to singles, but there are perks, too, and I try to keep my focus on the good stuff in this life!! For example, some of us single parents:
1. get every other weekend ‘off’ from parenting. Sometimes we even get an evening off during the week, too!
2. don’t have to compromise on our parenting technique or standards. If I believe grounding him for a week is ample punishment, then so be it, that’s the punishment. If I want to serve oreos as “brain food” when he works on his homework, then so be it.
3. don’t have to visit relatives we don’t even like on the holidays. We only have an obligation to one side of the family (mine!). Other than transporting the Little Man back so he can visit the outlaws, I don’t have to spend time with family that is not my own.
4. get a huge break on our taxes. Between claiming the child, being head of household and itemizing the interest on my house, I barely pay anything to the feds.
5. never have to hear, “but Dad said…” In my house, it’s my voice that governs, not the ex’s. It doesn’t matter what his father told him, I set the rules here.
6. with primary custody, I get more of those moments with LM that just take my breath away. Whether it’s finally having a breakthrough on his math homework, or mastering a tough piece for the trumpet, I’m the one who is usually there to witness the accomplishment. That also means I get first dibs on hugs!
7. without another adult in the house, LM gets my undivided attention (except when football is on!) I feel very in tune with LM’s life, both physically (how much did he eat today, how fast did he grow out of those jeans) to emotionally (what was the fight about at school with his best friend) and spiritually (this week he and I had a long talk after church about what “idols” are and how they are in our lives even if we don’t have a golden calf that we pray to!)
8. meals are quick, easy and well received. Macaroni and cheese from a box for the fourth night in a row? Hooray! I’m Mom of the Year!
9. feel like being spontaneous? A trip to the park, off to the movies, or dinner out? Go right ahead, there’s no one to contradict you or spoil the fun.
10. there seems to me to be a special bond that I have with my son because we are a team. Don’t get me wrong, I believe sincerely that parents are to be parents not peers or best friends, but we recognize that we have to rely on each other and I think LM is more conscious of all that I do for his sake and I’m conscious of the ways he helps me out, too. It’s a really cool deal.

I’m not trying to promote single-parenting or to suggest that I think it’s the best option. I just think I’ve got a pretty good situation all things considered and so while I recognize the many who don’t have it as easy, I just wanted to point out some of the ways we have an edge on the married folks!

Thanks, again, Gorilla. You’re a very cool mom, even if you’re not single!

I’ve already decided. For Christmas this year, I’m getting God a blowhorn. I know it’s not really a proper gift if I’m the one who really benefits from it, but man, I could use His voice just a little louder in my life (I think. You know that saying, ‘be careful what you wish for’.)

Own of my co-workers stopped by my desk today to tell me he’s putting a bid on a ranch house north of town. He currently lives in the same subdivision as I do, only in a townhouse not a condo. He said, “I know you’re frustrated living in the condo, so let me know if you’d be interested in taking a look at my townhouse.”

I don’t know what doors God is meaning for me to step through and which ones I’m just supposed to peek into and say, “that’s nice, but I think I’ll go this way.”

A blowhorn. Think about it. God’s voice booming from the heavens, “NO, Amy you dork! I meant for you to move to Nebraska!”

I want to apologize for the dream I had last night that involved Eli Manning. You know you are my favorite Quarterback. You know I have no interest whatsoever in Eli – I rarely even watch him play. But for some reason unbeknownst to me, he appeared in my dream last night.

I didn’t mean to kiss him. I kept telling myself he was only 20 and that there’s no way a guy like Eli (or yourself for that matter) would be interested in a girl like me) but in the moment, he looked so cute and I just couldn’t resist. I have to be honest, I did kiss him back.

I know it will come as no consolation to you whatsoever but in the dream, I kept trying to change my clothes and was walking room to room to find something else to wear. I wasn’t happy with anything that I found and I couldn’t seem to find a room to change in that had a lock on the door, but I finally settled on my Patriots jersey. I told Eli it was blue and white like a Colts uniform so it would be okay. I guess he wasn’t offended since he went ahead and kissed me.

Please do not let this change your opinion of me, nor of my status as Supreme Patriots Fan. Maybe it was just a jealous fit because you’re dating that gorgeous model. In any regard, my most sincere apologies.

Eliza Jane

AP (Amy’s Press), Georgia – Yesterday, in what appears to be an individual incident during a round of golf, G (Amy’s brother) reportedly fell out of a moving golf cart while trying to retrieve his ball. While no accomplices to the crime have come forward, witnesses attest to the influence of G’s golf, I mean, drinking partner, Jim Beam, and a prankster co-worker. No injuries (other than his pride) were reported and G went on to enjoy a perfectly beautiful walk ruined by a game of golf. Experts remark on the uniqueness of the incident stating, “While it is not uncommon for G to royally embarrass himself while surrounded by witnesses, it is highly unusual for him to do so outside the presence of attractive women.” Pundits have cautioned the family, suggesting that necessary precautions be made for the aforementioned cruise, namely that seat belts be installed on all bar stools in the Disney ESPN sports bar. More embarrassing reports are sure to follow.

Last evening, I called my sister in Michigan. She was pulling out snow pants, winter jackets, gloves and boots for the kids to try on. “We’re getting snow tomorrow,” she said. With snow showers on the way, she was eager to get the coats sorted out and washed and to know what they needed to buy for the season. When I hung up the phone, I told LM, who thus far has been reluctant to jump on the “Let’s Move to Michigan” bandwagon, “Aunt Julie says they are getting snow tomorrow.”

He screamed. With joy. Jumped up and down and said, “Let’s move!! Let’s move!!”

For me, the move is all about saving a little green. For LM, it’s all about the white.

Joe is a forty-something divorced man with a Master’s degree, career in his field and an excellent relationship with his 12 year old son. He’s funny and clever, a baseball fanatic and easy to get along with. We’ve been friends for the past 5 years or so and through that time I have listened to the ebb and flow of Joe’s dating life. He has an ad on nearly every internet site and has dated several women throughout the past few years some with more optimism than others. When Joe is in a relationship, I don’t hear much from him. When he’s single again, he’ll shoot me an email to just say hello. Last night was such an email. His last relationship has ended and he’s back “on the prowl” as it would seem, but growing more and more anxious over the possibility of ever meeting the “right woman”. He wondered aloud to me whether there just wasn’t something terribly wrong with him that makes it impossible to find and keep a great woman. (And before you even think it, Joe and I are not well-suited for each other. We make great friends and that’s all. And I’m really happy with that.)

His sentiment is one I’ve heard before from other men who seem to me to be perfectly wonderful, normal, charming men who just happen to still be single. I wanted to perhaps address this feeling from the side of the single woman.

I speak to those men out there who are single, independent, charming, and full of humor and life. Attractive in their own right (we all are, aren’t we?), who have a head on their shoulders and a soft spot in their heart – I say to all of you, “there is nothing wrong with you.”

You are not single because of some personal defect or flaw. You are not alone in your life because of something you’ve done or didn’t do. You are not curling up in a king size bed by yourself because of your lack of hygiene or your abysmal housekeeping skills, you are not single for any of these reasons that you tell yourself on Saturday nights when you watch the world couple itself up and go off without you.

She is out there. She is next door, or down the street or around the world, but she is out there. She just isn’t ready for you yet. Maybe she’s just come out of a relationship that has left her scared or hopeless or fragile. Maybe she is focused on her career and not on her heart. Maybe her concentration is on her children and their needs and she hasn’t paused to look around to fill her own yet. She is out there, she just needs time. You are perfect for her. Just the way you are. She just needs time to be ready for all that you have to offer. She’s working on it. She’s learning from that last relationship so she doesn’t drag you down with unfinished business. She’s tidying up the baggage that she’s accumulated so it’s neater and tidier and left under the bed and not out in the open when she sets her eyes upon you. She won’t ever be perfect, but she’ll be a better partner if she can take this time to work these things out.

So when you’re sitting there alone at the bar, or when you’re out walking at dusk without a hand to hold, please know that she’s working on it. She’s trying to get it all together so that your relationship will be built on a solid, lasting foundation. This absence, this time apart has nothing to do with your inabilities. She will love you just the way you are. And one of these days, when you finally do come together at the same page at the same time, she will be ready for you to love her just the way she is, too. And she will be so touched that you waited for her to get it right. Believe me.