Today, WG, Flash and I went to the youth auction after church. There are many items up for bid during a silent auction session followed by a live auction for larger items, with all proceeds going to support the youth programs at our church. After enjoying a nice spaghetti lunch, WG and I wandered through the silent auction items. The first I came to that gave me pause was a basket filled with baby items. With friends expecting later this year, I thought perhaps that might make a nice gift. I decided to pass when I realized that after bringing a new boy with me to church for the past few weeks, it probably wouldn’t look good for MY name to appear on an auction list for baby items. This is how rumors start, you know. Later, during the second part of the auction, the live auction for larger items, WG leaned over and pointed at the brochure listing for a weekend getaway. Thinking it might be fun to gather up some of our friends and enjoy a fall weekend at the lake, he suggested we bid. It didn’t take us long to chuckle and shake our heads. Two newly dating people at church probably shouldn’t bid on the weekend getaway, either. Blasted rumors. So, we left the auction with money in our pockets – but not without winning one item from the silent auction. We thought heading home with an amazing cheesecake would keep us safe from any potential rumors. Of course, if I keep eating this amazingly decadent dessert, those pregnancy rumors might start up regardless.

Flash: “Hey Mom, when you are at the grocery store this weekend, can you pick up two different kinds of cereal for me?”

Mom: “Hey Flash?! I have something amazing to show you!! Do you see this paper on the side of the fridge? Do you see it? This is truly remarkable so pay close attention! When you take this pen and you write something on this paper, like, let’s say, “Cheerios” and “oatmeal”, on Sunday afternoon, when you roll out of bed at noon – now listen closely, here’s the amazing part – the Cheerios and oatmeal will be in the cabinet!! I know, it’s too much to even believe! It’s astounding and remarkable and very nearly magical!! Go ahead. Try it! Put a few items on this piece of paper and see if they aren’t not only in the house – but where they belong when you get up on Sunday!! Even more amazing, is that sometimes, there are things that you need, but you totally forget to put them on this magical piece of paper and do you know what?! They still SHOW UP! Like toilet paper, or sandwich bread, or even things to make a decent meal for KICK’N! (ahem). It’s just amazing!!”

I got the teenage eye-roll from Flash for that one. I think that’s a sign that I’m hysterically entertaining. But I could be wrong.

You know you are a horrible girlfriend, and undeserving of all that this amazing man does for you when it takes you five days and even then HE has to point it out to you on Friday – that he fixed the eve trough that was dangling off the garage on Monday afternoon.

Sigh.

Apologies were made. Cookies shall be baked.

Perhaps it’s because the sun is shining outside but it’s still too cold to actually do anything out there. Perhaps it’s because after letting go of a student yesterday, I’m feeling the need to exert control over SOMEthing. Perhaps it’s just Spring Fever. Whatever the cause, I woke early this morning itching to do something. Itching to move things. Itching to change things.

I lay in bed thinking about moving this piece of furniture and that piece of furniture. I thought about the mirror that never got hung once we moved in. I thought about the plants I’d like to hang in a couple of windows and the hooks I would need in the ceiling to do so. And while I itched to do these things, I dreaded them in the same breath – I can drill in a pinch, but I’m so afraid of doing it wrong and leaving a gaping hole in the wall. I would need help moving some of the furniture around and thought maybe I could get Flash’s help when he wakes around 3pm.

But then I remembered…and so I sent a text. “Would you maybe help me hang a mirror later and put a couple plant hooks in the ceiling?”

And the reply that delights my soul – “Absolutely!”

And even beyond that, he says, “And I want to fix that eve trough that’s hanging off the garage.”

Where has he been all my life?

Holds me when I just need holding.

Listens when I just need to talk.

Laughs when I don’t want to cry.

Winks when I need to laugh.

Smiles when the world seems to be caving in.

Loves when I feel so unloveable.

Brings me flowers just because.

Is silent when I can’t take any more.

Is perfect for me.

I don’t blog about school. While I am entertained every single day by my nine-year olds, I just think it’s an off-limits topic to post on a blog.

But today I ache. Today I mourn. Today I’m finding it difficult to cope.

I have a boy in my class who has the roughest of lives – the ones you read about and shake your head and wonder how children in these situations survive at all. He was held back in second grade, and so despite his low academic abilities, he will keep being promoted on – he will keep being propelled forward, forever lost, and losing ground.

He is a tough child. Rough around all the edges, he has walls around him for very good reason. And yet, he is a softie. Show him your boundaries, hold him accountable and he will not only respect you but come to admire you. Show him you care and he will hold tight to you forever.

And oh how I care.

But tomorrow he will leave me. Tomorrow, he will change custody. From a mother who never should have been given him in the first place, to a father that has hardly been involved. And with the change comes a change in schools. Away from me.

And so I ache. And so I cry. And so I get angry that he is leaving.

I worry. I worry that he will become a behavior problem in his next school – full of walls, with the attitude to push everyone away, will he let another teacher help him get where he needs to be? I worry.

I worry that he will never gain ground on all that he’s lost. I worry that he will get to a point where giving up is easier than fighting for knowledge. Where following in mom’s footsteps is the only path he knows. The path to drugs and to jail.

I worry.

I don’t know how to face tomorrow. I don’t know how to say goodbye to this child. I have packed a bag full of flashcards and school supplies and every little thing I think that might help him for today. But I won’t be there tomorrow.

And so I pray.

For one little boy and his messed up life. For parents that aren’t sure how to do just that. And for a teacher that doesn’t know just how to let go.

Yesterday, WG braved the first Family Test. He hung out with my sister and Bear at a local home and garden show. We wandered through all the vendors, WG and I stopping at nearly every booth to ask a million questions for our million home-repair projects we both would love to do to our homes if we could just find that money tree. Jules and Bear wandered through eyeing these amazing outdoor grill -pagoda things. They have apparently FOUND the ellusive money tree.

In any case, we capped off the day with some amazing Chicago-style pizza. I am amazed at WG’s charm – he must have done something right as he got my sister to PLAY CARDS. I haven’t seen my sister play cards since I was 12!! (Thanks, Jules!)

Jules says he passes the sister test. WG says he wasn’t scared away by my family, so I guess I can breathe a sigh of relief that neither scared the other away!

Now, let’s just see if I can manage to not scare him away, either!

Dear Flash’s Girlfriend: