Let me just clarify…

Scratch.

Is nothing at all like the sort of men I usually date and perhaps that’s exactly why he’s captured my heart in a way no other has in a very long time. He’s remarkably hard-working (on active duty and proud of it), he’s honest, funny, intelligent (far more so than I would have given a career military man credit for, but trust me, when it comes to WMD, he’s your man!) Maybe I can best summarize how I feel about him by sharing this:

The other night, Scratch came over after work to join Flash and I for family pizza night and wii bowling (exciting, I know, but it was). Scratch jumped right in, cutting up peppers and mushrooms as we introduced him to a long-standing tradition of making your own pizza. While I finished preparations, rolling out the individual pizza crusts, Flash and Scratch had an ongoing conversation about Bond movies. What was the best Bond location? (Russia) Who was the best bond actor (Sean Connery, of course) What was the best Bond gadget…car, blah, blah, I admit it, it all went over my head at that point. I do recall the boys, one in camo uniform sipping a Guiness at my table, the other in a t-shirt standing at the counter, eating nibbles of ingredients, had quite the laugh about the time Bond confused Q’s sub sandwich with a new gadget. In any case, it was only a matter of time, and yet, my heart skipped a beat when he said it. The boy in camo fatigues and dog tags said with a wink in his voice (if ever that was possible), “Best Bond girl!” and without skipping a beat, Flash jumped right in with his vote.

I’d be lying if I said that was just a typical boy moment. You see, in my lifetime, I don’t recall EVER witnessing such a moment with my son. I have never been present when he’s had a “typical male conversation” with another man. I don’t ever remember anyone so casually, so naturally engaging my boy in a conversation that was appropriate for his age AND gender quite like Scratch had just done.

I know, I know, to those of you who are married with kids, maybe it’s just something you take for granted. But, in Flash’s life, he doesn’t have a male role model who teases about women, who is willing to say things, perhaps inappropriate in some sense and yet, exactly what is going through my teen’s mind.

I turned around and looked at Scratch. For a moment, I think he thought I was going to scold him, although it wouldn’t have mattered, he just winked and smiled at me, pleased as punch with himself. But if he thought I was upset, he was wrong. I wanted to hug him, I wanted to scream THANK YOU! I wanted to somehow convey to him the significance of what he had just done.

I tried, later, to tell Scratch, and maybe, on some level he understands. But it’s just who Scratch is, so he didn’t see it as any big deal. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t for a minute think that parenting (even step-parenting) is all about having fun and being a “buddy”. When given the opportunity to ask me a “hard question”, Scratch wanted to know if I would allow a step-parent to really parent my boy, or if I was just looking for a spouse.

Suffice it to say, Scratch and I are on the same page there.

The difficulty right now is that for all that Scratch has seen of this world, which is to say, a lot, and not many of the good things, he’s a little skeptical on the “loving God” theory on life. He was raised in a Christian home and has a mother that keeps praying for him. He’s not opposed to the idea, but opposes those that push their faith. We’ve had many conversations on the topic; he knows it is no small thing to me and that if we take any steps further it will only be if we’re on the same page. But for now, for what it is today, Scratch has sure brought some joy into this little family of ours.

So I’ve been seeing this boy.

Oh, what. You wanted details before now? Yeah, well, tough.

We haven’t really been seeing each other on any official terms, except that we’re, well, seeing each other. There’s just complications and whatnot that prevent me from declaring it official. But let’s just say that for non-daters? We’re really good at dating.

So, this boy, Scratch. (my affectionate term for the boy who seems to perfect the art when we shoot pool together), well, he and I have been hanging out and spending time with the boy and all and well, last night he invited me over to watch a movie. I made sure Flash was okay with that and headed over.

Whenever I’m out of the house, Flash likes to check in from time to time. Just to let me know he’s doing fine (no alien invasions at the house) and I think, more importantly, to keep tabs on when I’m coming home (so the music gets turned down and off and he appears to be in bed studying upon my arrival).

In any case, while at Scratch’s last evening, Flash sent me a text letting me know he was still doing fine. I sent a text back letting him know we had decided upon watching a sci-fi movie, “Blade Runner”, one I thought I remembered Flash talking about before.

Shortly after the text I sent, comes a response from Flash, “You’ll hate the movie. It’s not your type at all.”

Now, let me interject with this: do not for one minute think I had lost my senses and was actually going to subject myself to watching some sci-fi movie like “Blade Runner”. You all know me far better than that! I simply knew that the choice of movie didn’t matter in the least as I was probably going to spend much of the movie-watching time finding out if Scratch was a good kisser or not, and so the actual movie choice didn’t matter to me in the slightest. But, I shared it with Flash thinking at least he might enjoy the fact that on some level, his mom had HEARD “Blade Runner”, but I digress…ahem…

About a half hour into the kiss-a-thon, I mean, movie-thon, I get another text from Flash. “Did you get to the part where he gives the rooftop soliloquy yet?”

Now, I have objections to this message in particular for some very specific reasons: a) use of the word ‘soliloquy’ should be outlawed in text messages as a violation of “presumptuous, pompous arrogance misuse of a word”; b) I’ve already mentioned that I wasn’t exactly watching the movie, so now there’s that dilemma and c) if my date can’t understand the meaning of the text, my child ought not to be permitted to send it.

I held up my phone to Scratch. “Um, have we gotten to this part of the movie yet?” I asked, realizing that he had seen as little as I had on this particular occasion, but hoping his prior knowledge might at least allow me to send a reasonable response back.

“Just say yes,” was Scratch’s definitive answer. I’m not altogether certain if that was his response to the text, or the overall philosophy for the evening together, but again, digression…

In either case, his answer turned out to be a bad one.

“I thought the soliloquy was at the end, Mom,” was the reply a few very short moments later.

Um, yeah. So, few things suck worse than realizing that you’re 38 years old and you’ve been totally busted by your teenager for making out when you were supposedly watching a movie.

I blame it all on Scratch. As it turns out, he is a remarkably good kisser.

So I blame him. That and the complete misuse of big vocabulary words in text messages.

I had an idea. I’m certain it wasn’t original, I’m sure someone suggested the idea to me and I just decided it was good enough to try out, but about 13 years and a couple months ago, I hosted a baby shower for my sister and as it turns out, for Birdy. The guests were friends, neighbors and relatives mainly from the town we grew up in. The idea was to have each guest write a letter to the baby, letters designated for specific years of her life. So that, on her birthday every year, my niece would have a letter from someone dear to my sister.

We’re using new curriculum at school to teach reading. I find it to be remarkably cool mainly because it teaches children how to figure out for themselves how to spell because we teach them the rules of the English language. Things I never learned in all my education classes.

While I have a remarkably gifted child who is currently completing Junior/Senior English as an 8th grader, he cannot spell for the life of him, so I’ve been teaching him the new curriculum as we go to help him become a better speller and to understand the way our written language was developed.

Tonight, putting before him the word ‘crinkle’, I asked him why the ‘c’ said /k/ and not /s/ in this word.

My gifted child’s answer?

“Um, because ‘srinkle’ just don’t sound right?”

Sigh.

George gets a little anxious about being picked up from school. He’s just certain he’s going to be left, forgotten and stranded, although it has never actually happened. We thought it was just because he doesn’t know where my classroom is as easily this year, but it turns out he had a similar panic when it was his mom picking him up from school instead of the usual bus ride. After tears were shed and many promises for punctuality were made, George was still upset that my sister refused to park her car and go into the school to find him. She had promised she’d be in the circle drive, with all the other parents for pick-up, but that because they were in a rush to get to the game Birdy was cheering at, she didn’t have time to park and come in. This didn’t sit well with George at all. My sister reminded him that if she wasn’t the first car immediately outside of the doors, to just look down the line of cars and he would see her; she would be there, she promised.

As George headed out the door that morning and down to the bus, my sister asked him where was her usual kiss goodbye. George looked over his shoulder and replied, “You don’t get one today. You haven’t earned it.”

I’ve pitched one too many fits to Flash’s band director begging him to challenge my child to not then participate in what appeared to be such an opportunity. Flash came home the other day talking about Pep Band. What he was lacking, however, was details. He didn’t know what it was, when it met, what it was about, who was directing it, when they would play…he just knew someone had come to band and talked about a Pep Band while he was at gifted class. So I hounded him. We need a flyer. We need information. Talk with your director. Talk with other kids in band. TALK!!

But to no avail. No one seemed to know anything. His director wasn’t in charge, didn’t have details and didn’t keep a flyer. Flash’s best friend and bandmate had heard about it, but didn’t know anything more than Flash knew.

We went to school for a presentation the other night (unrelated, but equally as unpublicized) and Flash drug me to the band room door to show me the sign. “Join the Pep Band!” The flyer declared. It had some strange name that had nothing to do with Flash’s school, and then said it was this Friday night at 6:45. No details. No information. Is this a performance or a practice? What is this all about and who is putting this together?

No information was to be gleaned. So, I put it on my calendar and arrived home from work tonight with thoughts on dinner and getting a bit done before we headed off to school. That’s when Flash announced he had to be there at FIVE forty-five. Apparently they PLAY at six forty-five, but have to be there that much earlier. Again, we don’t even know WHAT he is playing at. We do know that his buddy has the music, and Flash has seen it and it’s easy-peasy. (So, lacking the challenge we were hoping for).

In any case, reluctantly but in a supportive effort, off we go, grabbing dinner on our way (so Flash could snarf it down in the car).

So here’s what the deal was: A local elementary school was having a fundraising night at Flash’s middle school because they have no gymnasium or cafeteria of their own in which to host such an event (a “hoopla” as they called it). The high school cheerleaders performed, a handful of the middle school band members played (hence Flash) and the faculty at every school it seemed EXCEPT that elementary school played a rousing game of faculty basketball. There was a silent auction and food and t-shirts and even an admission fee (which Flash got us around by sneaking us in the back band door).

It was lame-o, in a nutshell and totally unrelated to a) Flash’s school, b) band or c) anything that would challenge my child.

So, I was disappointed to have put in ANY effort whatsoever. But, to salvage the evening, on the way home, I’m sharing the antics of the cheerleaders who were practicing (and changing and talking) in the hallway where I had camped myself (what?! I wasn’t paying admission, I could hear the pep band just fine from the hall). Flash then shared some of his own observations.

1. Their gymnasium has no flag. So when the Banner was sung, the crowd started at a “Got Milk?” poster of an Olympian that happened to have a flag in the background.

2. There was a group of children doing a choreographed routine to “Thriller” (shocking, I know). Only, the person in charge of the music had started to download the song, but didn’t realize it hadn’t finished downloading before the performance began, so the song started and then STOPPED because it had to finish downloading. He said the guy at the mic even said, “students, let this be a lesson to you. Always download the song ahead of time.”

3. They had students from the elementary school running around the basketball court with large flags with a “P” and a “U” on them (for the name of the hyphenated school). As if that alone wasn’t funny enough, Flash said they couldn’t seem to stay in the right order, so at different points the flags ‘read’ “P” “P” “P” “U” “U” “U” or “P” P” “U” “P” U” “U”

At least we were able to chuckle while we otherwise wasted our time. Oh, and I wrote a couple thousand words for NaNo out in the hallway to boot!

So I should be caught up now. I’m sure I’ve missed a few funny quips from George in there and I could dialogue every.single.day about raising a teen, but ya get the idea. Basically, I’m savoring my life. Soaking up every minute. I just love it.

I invite you all to come visit. Especially when there are leaves to rake, snow to shovel or paint to put on walls! No, really, just come and sit and savor life with me for awhile!

And now that I’m all caught up on blogging, off to NaNoWriMo I go! (not to mention Christmas cards that need to be done by December 1st!)