The seller’s finally counter-offered 6 days later (and well past the deadline). The counter was ugly. They gave not an inch. It would seem they are in quite a bind, owing significantly more than the house is worth.

So here I sit.

I’ve been praying that God would be very clear about what He wants me to do. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew this was the right house, but I don’t know if this is the right time. We’re kind of pushing things to get in and I hate to jump into a mortgage when I’m working 10 months out of the year at a silly hourly rate without benefits. But, then again, I have done the math and believe we can make it work, even if it is a tight budget.

I guess I just don’t know what God is saying. I’m trying to be still and listen but my heart is saying I LOVE THIS HOUSE and my head is saying ARE YOU CRAZY?! and my soul is saying, God takes care of things when it is done for His glory, and well, I’m left with a whole bundle of I know not what to do’s.

What would make this easier? If there was any hope that I’d be teaching full-time in the fall (but local districts are laying off). If I had a bit more money in the bank than I do. Even if I had a part-time job that just brought in a little extra cash.

So I’m praying and I’m thinking and I’ll have to get back to the seller in a couple of days but until then, I’m waiting on God. And I’m hoping He speaks loudly.

Ever try to teach an internet lesson to a lab full of Kindergarten students when Internet Explorer isn’t working and Firefox wants to do an update? When you open Google to talk about Search Engines and instead of the recognizable-even-to-Kinders logo, they’ve gone and made the “Google” into Morse Code or something unreadable (a hump I thought we had gotten over since it was no longer the “Earth Day” motif). Even if you can get past that with grace, your plans will again be thwarted when you realize that after “fixing” your latest computer problems, the gurus left your lab without Adobe Flash player or Shockwave, making all the internet activities you have planned for your students unable to run with multiple error messages popping up on their screens sending them into complete turmoil and panic.

At this point, when you realize you’re going to have to bag the internet activity altogether and you tell the students to go to an old standby software program, the computers will take so long to load and open the program that they will not actually have any time to draw or design, but will have to line up without creating a thing.

It was that kind of a bummer of a day.

Maybe it’s a sign that someday I will actually live in Maine, I don’t know. But on a rainy Saturday, I still love the beach. I love the sound of the waves more than anything. I’m easily annoyed by people laughing too loudly or talking too much. So on a day when the beach is deserted, I’m truly at peace.

I could just sit and listen for hours. The splash of the water on the pier catches me off guard and makes me laugh out loud. The feel of sand between my toes, and cool lake water on my feet touches my soul in a way that little else does.

Today, we field tripped to the water. But it feels like we had a brief visit to Heaven.

A text conversation with Flash in the grocery store:

Flash: Where r u?

Me: Exactly where you left me

Flash: I was just there

Me: obviously you weren’t

Flash: I was

Me: Then you would have found me

Flash: U weren’t there

Me: I’m STILL here

Upon arriving in the card aisle exactly where he left me Flash realized he had looked in the card aisle one aisle over but not the one I had been in the whole time.

I walked into the Christian Bookstore this evening looking for the book I need for next months’ book study at church, and before I could even gather my thoughts there was a lovely and very cheerful woman asking if she could help me with anything. Thrown off-guard by the immediate assistance, my brain immediately went blank. I stood there for a moment before saying something as remarkably profound as, “I’m looking for a book.”

yeah, I know. You in the back? Hush.

The woman was too polite to even give the obvious retort, she just stood there (I’d like to think it wasn’t just because I was in the CHRISTIAN bookstore that she refrained from saying “Well DUH!” But ya never know. I kind of deserved it.)

When I started to get my brain a’workin’, I said, “It’s called, um, Thirty Days to… A…. oh something or another…”

The woman, again, refrained from stating the obvious. She just stood there. I continued my embarrassing stammer.

“Thirty Days to…. it’s like, thirty days to….oh, I just wrote this down today….”

The woman, God bless her soul – seriously – suggested we go to the computer and look it up. Because I was so close to having the title, surely it’d be easy. (If you missed the sarcasm there, let me just point it out to you.)

She proceeds to type in “Thirty Days to” in the computer and extract 500+ possible titles. Which, in an effort that’s surely meant to be helpful, she then proceeds to start reading to me.

“Thirty Days to an Abundant Life? Thirty Days to a Closer Walk with God? Thirty Days to a Better Marriage?”

I keep shaking my head, trying to get her to stop long enough for me to just THINK.

I start rummaging through my pocketbook, looking for the sticky note that I wrote all this information down on only a few hours ago. But, it would seem, the sticky note is still on my desk at school.

So she continues to read, “Thirty Days to Financial Freedom? Thirty Days to a Well-Behaved Child?” and I continue to repeat, “Thirty Days to….Thirty Days to…”

She finally asks if I know the author.

Yes!! Well…., it’s something like Stocker, or Sooker, or maybe Soot? I don’t know. But it’s a husband and wife and it’s like Kevin and Chris. Or Ken and Christine. Or maybe it’s Keith and Carla.

I finally ask where in the bookstore these sorts of books would be. Generally speaking. Figuring I’ll save us both the agony of reading through this entire list of possible titles. I’ll just browse the whole bookstore until sometime next Thursday to see if I can find it on my own and perhaps save her from suggesting that I go straight to hel….

She says it depends. It might be in Business, if it’s about finances. I say no, it’s not just about finances, although that might be part of it. But it’s about, well, it’s about living the next thirty days, well, it’s something about you know, so that when you die, well,

it’s about something like not regretting anything.

AHA!! I say, “that’s in the title. Or…. something like that anyway.”

She says, very calmly still, which I’m sure was part of her training before she was given the job at the Christian Bookstore, Christian Customer Service 101: How to not curse out a customer even when they are driving you mad.

In any case, we go to the Christian Living section and head for authors whose name stars with S (since that’s about as much as I get right) and lo and behold there it is!!

“One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life” by Kerry and Chris Shook.

See?! I was soooo close!!

And to think after all that they still let me use my coupon!

We were driving home from church tonight and had to pull over to let a fire truck pass. A few blocks later, driving into the setting sun, Flash commented that the road seemed really “dusty” up ahead. I reminded him there was a FIRE nearby (he lives up to his name more often than not lately). As we drove past the local Checker’s drive-through we realized the whole back of the restaurant was smoking pretty seriously and the fire truck had joined several police cars in the parking lot.

The most amusing part of this to us? That there were THREE CARS in line to get their fast-food orders at the take-out window. Ahem. People? Look in your rear view mirror and see that the restaurant IS ON FIRE. You might want to just forgo the extra large fries and get out of there before your car is likewise on fire.

I still don’t have anything major to report on the house. There’s movement, and I should know more tomorrow, but for the moment, it’s status quo. Whatever that might mean!

Thanks for all the prayers!

Let the bidding begin.

(Pray. Please?)