Somewhere around 9 years ago, I set foot in a Homemakers Group at a church in Illinois. I had been invited by my friend, Stacy, and I was eager to get out of the house and converse with grown-ups (especially other moms). The women met on Tuesday mornings with the intention of having a speaker and then time for individual prayer groups, Bible study and a time for fellowship with each other. Other than Stacy, I knew no one and I was nervous about my rusty Bible recollection, my preferences to quiet, personal prayer, and how inadequate I felt as a mother. I thought for certain I wouldn’t be “Christian enough” for this sort of a group.

At the start of the first meeting, a woman stood up at the podium and gave a short talk, a precursor to the sort of talks we would have each week by various women and guest speakers. Karen was funny, down to earth and fallible!! She put me at ease immediately as she talked about her own everyday mistakes and I knew that I was going to like her. When we split into smaller prayer groups, I forced myself to leave Stacy’s side and go out on my own to meet new people. I followed Karen to the area she chose and it was the start of a wonderful friendship.

Karen taught me how to laugh at my own mistakes and not take life too seriously. She was raising and home schooling three children and never stood on pretenses. Want to come over for lunch? Come on over? We’re having Velveeta mac n’ cheese!! She taught me that friendship could be simple and easy and I didn’t have to try to impress her all the time or stand on formalities.

At some point during those first couple weeks of the Homemaker’s Group, Karen learned that I had once played the piano. She took my hand and drug me to the pastor’s office where she quickly introduced me saying, “She reads music!” I had no idea what I was getting into but quickly found myself signed up for the Women’s Handbell Choir. Hand what? Bells? I didn’t say I played the bells!!

If I thought the Homemaker’s Group that Stacy had introduced me to was a lifesaver, the women in the handbell choir were all that and more. It was a casual group of about 10-15 women some of whom read music, some who didn’t. Some had played the bells, some hadn’t. The requirements for the group were simple: love the bells and love God. We practiced the bells for an hour or so and then had a short Bible study lesson each week. It was a time of my life when my spiritual life grew exponentially.

The first time the handbell choir performed during the service I was beside myself with joy. I LOVED the bells. I loved making music as a team. I loved how they rang and how clear and gorgeous the notes sounded in the sanctuary.

It wasn’t long after finding all these incredible God-given friends that we chose to move to Pennsylvania. It’s been years since I’ve felt like I had a church “home” and only recently have I been regularly attending a church where I am happy with all the aspects – from Sunday School to the sermons to youth group on Wednesday nights, I think we’ve found where God wants us to be.

Last Sunday there was a note in the bulletin that there was an opening in the handbell choir. I had not heard those words since moving east and after the service I quickly sought out the music pastor and put my name in. He emailed last night to say they had filled all the regular spots but needed someone to fill in as a sub as one of the players was going to be out for awhile with back surgery. If I was interested….

Tonight at 6pm, I will pull on gloves and I will hold the bells in my hand and I will listen to their clear harmonious tones ringing out into the room.

And I will think of Karen.

I’ll admit it, I was more perturbed that Scout was behind the tv stand playing amongst the cords than I was curious as to why. It wasn’t until just now, when I woke up from my pre-bedtime, Friday night nap on the couch that I realized she and Jonah were tag-team bug chasing around the floor. Slouched down with noses to the floor, staring intently at something in between them, I decided to see what it was they were so interested in before I headed off to bed. AND THANK HOLY MOSES THAT I DID!!! Had I not stopped to see that they were staring (and licking and pushing with their noses) a little FROG, I might have stepped on that thing (squish) in the middle (squish) of the night (squish) and would have required years of medicated therapy (squish) for Post-Traumatic Squish Disorder(PTSD)!

Now, those of you who are paying attention (and taking notes – you stalkers know who you are), you’ll remember I live on the second floor in a condo, so my explanation as to HOW IN HOLY MOSES that little frog came to find himself on my living room floor is a bit mysterious. I mean, I did move a big, happy plant inside from the deck earlier tonight so I have to think the little guy traveled in style in tropical paradise, but how he came to live in a plant that’s on a second-story deck in the first place, I will never know. I did return him to the deck where he will either be reunited with other little deck frogs, or will meet an untimely death when he hops off the edge.

All I can say is that I hope (squish) he didn’t bring along (squish) 27 of his friends and relatives (squish). At least I have Thing One and Thing Two on guard to protect me (squish).

Tonight was the kick-off party for the church youth group. They had a tailgating theme, where everyone wore team t-shirts and jerseys and they had a junk yard car to smash, a moon bounce, paint ball, games and food. I watched LM use the sledge hammer to smash the car and listened to his giggles as he played in the moon bounce. We both tried cotton candy for the first time (neither of us were all that impressed). And we both got in the tethered hot air balloon and rose 80 feet above the church and had a look around town. It was the same hot air balloon that sometimes flies over our house. The same one that Gabe used to freak out over. The same one that Gabe…

I miss my dog. I sat outside the moon bounce watching a couple walk around with their little pug and all I could think was “my dog could eat your dog for lunch…”

As I sat on the lawn, swatting away mosquitos, watching the hot air balloon glow rainbow color in the twilight, I was so thankful for finding this church. So grateful for an evening filled with wonder and the laughter of children. So thrilled to hear LM say over and over, “I’m having a GREAT time, Mom!” and yet I missed my dog. I know that time will help heal this wound, but for now, I’m homesick for my pooch. I wish those brown eyes were right here next to me tonight.

I dreamt last night that I was getting married. I was wearing a periwinkle blue dress (my favorite color but not something I imagined being wed in) and I was upset because I thought one of my bridesmaids (I have no idea who she was) looked beautiful with her hair all up in a French twist and my hair was down and “plain” but it was down because I knew my groom preferred it that way and so that’s how I would be wed.

I next remember speaking at my own reception and explaining why three wedding cakes were being brought into the room. There was the traditional wedding cake (although I don’t remember it having layers or being towered) and then there was a second for some reason (of which I cannot recall – perhaps a preference by the groom) and then the third cake was explained as tears streamed down my face. “The last cake (which was small and round, chocolate of some sort with a powdered sugar-looking icing) was the cake I was eating at the pastry shop in Iowa when I met Charlie.” I was overwhelmed in my dream at that moment of recollection, of remembering how I had met my groom and how I wanted everyone to share in that moment with us on our wedding day.

Later it seemed as though I was sitting in a room with just a few other people, but I was intently watching something on the television, a family tape of some sentimental sort, which I was very intent on seeing through even though I had a feeling that it was not the right time for me to be off on my own like this, and not the sort of thing that would be right for a crowd. George, my nephew, came in and asked if he could watch cartoons and I immediately realized where I was and that I needed to get back to the reception and said a little too assuredly, “Of course you can!” and quickly flipped the channel, much to the appreciation of some other woman in the room who had tired of watching my home movies with me.

I think, in my dream, that I actually saw my groom, Charlie, once. He was wearing his tux, all but the jacket (black pants, white shirt and black suspenders?!). He was average height, with broad, solid shoulders, a stocky man with dark brown hair, dark eyes and a dark beard or goatee (I didn’t get a good look!) He was beautiful and I had a feeling he was funny.

It’s been a long time since I thought seriously about getting married, a long time since I even seriously thought about dating again. I don’t really believe in premonitions, but perhaps it’s just something I’m supposed to give more thought to. Now, to work Iowa into my travel plans…

Two weeks ago I picked up C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity” at the library after reading a short review of the book online. Today I am placing my order on Amazon.com to own this book. It is one I will not only read over and over, but one that I wish to share with anyone and everyone I know. It has not changed my faith in God, or my Christian beliefs (although it has challenged me in some areas for certain!) it has merely given me the verbage I have been lacking all of these years to explain WHY I believe what I believe in a way that goes beyond a “gut feeling” or “faith”.

I encourage EVERYONE of any faith (or no faith at all) to read this book. I would be more than willing to send you my copy if you cannot get your hands on your own (the idea of sharing this book has absolutely excited me to no end, so please do not hesitate to ask for my copy!) Give it a read. Think about what Lewis says. See if it rings true to you. Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. In either case I think you will walk away feeling more enlightened and educated.

If you have read it or do pick it up, please let me know! I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I have written this post no less than 10 times. Emotion runs too deep for me articulate myself with honesty and with control.

9/11 should never be forgotten.

Nor should our soldiers who continue to fight a battle we have no business being in.

The death toll continues to rise as we as a nation allow our troops to continue to engage in wars in the name of venegance masked as a search for Weapons of Mass Destruction, or with the arrogant ambition of bringing democracy to other nations and cultures.

We sing “God Bless America” and then send our brothers and sisters into battle. We forbid our children to pray in school, go to court to remove the words “Under God” from our pledge, ban the ten commandments from public buildings and then BEG God to come save us from terrorists. God bless a nation full of a vengeful spirit. God bless Americans as we bomb, shoot, kill, maim and even torture people. If we believe women and children, innocent men and women have not died because of our weapons we are sadly mistaken. But God bless us anyway.

God does bless America. But we must turn our hearts towards Him. We must embrace this world He has given to us. We must LOVE OUR NEIGHBORS. We must DO UNTO OTHERS AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE TO US. We must honor our Fathers and our Mothers, including our Holy Father.

As we remember September 11, 2001, as we remember Hurricane Katrina, let us also remember our God has never left us, no matter how many times we have tried to leave Him. Let us remember He is a forgiving God. Let us remember He is not a vengeful God. Let us remember we are not worthy of His love, but He gives it to us anyway.

We were created in His image. It’s about time we started to act like it.

Dear Amy,

DIRECTV has received your gift redemption paperwork and it is complete. Please allow up to 8 weeks from the date of this email to receive your gift.

You will receive a shipping notification email when your gift is shipped from the warehouse so that you can track delivery of your package.

We hope that you are enjoying your programming and all the benefits of being a new DIRECTV subscriber.

Best regards,

DIRECTV, Inc.
Direct Sales Gift Redemption Program

(I am not on the Board, I am a concerned resident who attended last night’s meeting)

Agenda Item #1: Bike Racks
The condo board proposes purchasing 4-5 bike racks at $400 apiece to be placed near the street lamps in the neighborhood allowing bikes to be parked and stored as an alternative to storing them on patios and balconies. (It was stated by the board that bikes on patios and balconies is an eye sore).

Amy’s comment: The only bikes parked on the rack’s will be children’s and they will be vandalized and left and the grass will not be able to be mowed underneath and cars will be scratched that are parked near the bikes and it will become playground equipment instead of a storage solution. I live on the second floor, with limited storage space and I manage to haul my son’s bike up and down the stairs and to house it inside my home without any problem.

Resolution: Board decides against the purchase of bike racks.

Agenda Item #2: Speed Bumps
The condo board proposes purchasing four speed bumps at the cost of $3K to be placed on the two main side roads in the neighborhood. It is noted that speed bumps may not be place on the main thoroughfare because that road is not owned by the subdivision.

Amy’s comment: The goal was to get people to slow down before they reached the areas where kids play. The main flux of children in and around the parking areas/side roads are kids on bikes and skateboards. If you put a concrete bump in the road, you are only giving them encouragement to practice their jumps and moves in the street.

Resolution: Board decides against the purchase of speed bumps.

Agenda Item #3: Trash
The condo board does not see trash as a large issue worthy of comment or decision at this time. The board proposes the topic be “tabled” for a future meeting.

(large uproar by residents)

Amy’s comment: Trash seems to actually be a HUGE concern to residents and many more residents are in violation of this rule that the board seems to realize. I would suggest that the Management Company begin to do their tours of the neighborhood on the day BEFORE trash day to see how many residents are in violation of the regulations (trash on patios, trash on balconies, etc.) rather than visiting on trash day, when all bags are neatly gathered at the curb.

Resolution: Board decides to look into the schedule and to note violations.

Agenda Item #4: Association Fee
The condo board proposes a $2/month increase in the Association Fee for 2007, making the overall increase $31 in four year’s time. The board sites the increases costs in trash pick up as the primary reason for the increase in fees.

Amy’s comment: Solve the landscaping issues (grubs, dead trees, lack of shrubs), finish painting the doors, get the developer’s rusting trailers off the property, and make the overall appearance of our neighborhood similar to how it looked when it was NEW just four short years ago and then ask me for $2 more. Show me where my money is going.

Board’s response: Sometimes you have to put money out in order to get something good back.

Amy’s response: I just saved you $3K on speed bumps, $1600 on bike racks, put that towards the total you would have received from the increase in fees ($5400) and make the improvements.

Resolution: The board proposes keeping the Association Fee at the current rate for 2007.

Whose idea was it to have quarterly meetings that were open to residents instead of one big annual fight-fest? Me. So glad I suggested it.

I just realized (while trying to figure out how $20 is going to get me an oil change, tire rotation and a birthday gift) that I was so obsessed with making sure I gave LM his allowance from the change the waitress brought me last night at dinner that I NEVER LEFT A TIP.

Whatever have I done with my brain? I swear I was born with one.

I will have to stop by the restaurant on my way home, hanging my head in shame and give the woman her due. I’m so ashamed.

Update:

I went back last night (while running five other errands) and stopped in. I asked the hostess if she knew who was serving in that section last night, she didn’t. She asked me to describe the woman, which I did (sorta, I guess I’m bad at that sort of thing. Pray I’m never the key eye witness to a crime!) She finally decided to go get the manager, finally asking me what it was in regards to, so I told her my lame story and she said, “ooooh, that’s so sweet!!” Um, yeah, okay, let’s go with “sweet” rather than “early alzheimer’s”. While she was off to find the manager, another hostess asks me if this waitress walking towards me was her, and I said, no, but she was the bartender and so this hostess knows who the other woman must have been. This waitress continues to walk towards me so the hostess explains to her that I was looking for the other woman that was in the bar section last night (not that we normally sit in the bar but it was the first available table). I explain the situation and this waitress says, “well, we live together so I can give it to her, but we split our tips at the end of the night so it doesn’t really matter anyway.” I said, “I didn’t want her to think she was a bad waitress, she did an excellent job. Could you see that she gets this tip?” She shrugged like maybe yes, and maybe no but took my $7 anyway. Hopefully the nice waitress will get the money and at least know she didn’t do something wrong.