Mom's Secret Ingredient

amykoehn

It was another rough day to be a nine year old yesterday. Over dinner, LM told me his “lows” which included Daniel and Andrew trying to steal the “good stuff” from his lunch. They wanted his Swedish fish and his Sun Chips (can you tell Dad packed his lunch?) They got one fish and gave it to Courtney who promptly and without remorse, ate it. He was devastated. We talked about his options. It turns out they have assigned seats for lunch, so he can’t just move. We talked about quietly and privately approaching his teacher and explaining that these two kids do this everyday and ask to be moved to a different seat in the lunchroom. He thought that might be a good idea. We also talked about how as long as he gets angry and worked up over it, it gives the kids exactly the reaction they are looking for and that will only egg them on further. He seemed to understand that and agreed that just trying to bear it quietly might be a good option, if he couldn’t get moved.

This morning, as I was making his sandwich, I asked what else he wanted in his lunch. We put in a hardboiled egg, a Clementine, applesauce, string cheese and he suggested two mini-3-Muskateer bars. Then he said, “No, Mom, don’t. The boys will just try to take them” and ended the sentence with such a long, forlorn sigh it broke my heart.

I said, “Oh no they won’t! Here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to put them in the outside pocket of your lunchbox, so that only when you are ready for them will anyone know you have them. At that point, take one out, open it and LICK IT! I guarantee the boys won’t want it anymore.”

“GREAT IDEA, Mom!!”

See, parenting isn’t so hard after all! Maybe, being nine isn’t so bad, either.

8 thoughts on “Mom's Secret Ingredient”

  1. I was going to suggest the licking option as well…LM just needs to get more diabolical!God, don’t you just wish you could go back to being 9 knowing then what you know now…it would save alot of needless heartache.

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  3. Great solution, Mom! You are such a creative parent–I would probably have worked myself up into a tizzy over this and never thought of a practical answer.*files idea away in her parenting file*

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  4. I had 4 suggestions:1) The Licking Option is always a fantastic move. I still do it to this day with beers and shots. It’s unstoppable! (Unless then someone spits in it, then you have to throw it away and no one gets it.)2) The Trick Candy option. Bring in some trick dandy that tastes like crap or turns colors or Elax and let the two jerks take them. Then sit back and enjoy the good times!3) The “Take That” option. As soon as they take the candy have your son say, “Oh yeah? Well then take this!” and have him smash their chips or desert with his fist. It’s kinda like that Pavlo’s Dogs thing. Steal Candy = Smashed Food.4) Teasing. Let your kid take the offensive and heckle these bastards. The trick with 9 year olds is to find one thing and say it over and over again 10 million times. Either make fun of the kids name, call him fat for stealing candy, or (if you really want to get him good), pretend the punk has a crush on your son and call him out on it. There is nothing worse than being called “A Gay” because everyone still gets a good chukle out of it.Now, these moves might land your kid in a little trouble. But in my opinion, it is worth it to teach him to stick up for himself.

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  5. Fig,4) My son’s father is gay (you obviously don’t really read this blog) and thus it’s a rather sensitive issue to all of us, including my son to have people use the word “gay” around him. Especially inappropriately. And I don’t think any of us are “getting a chuckle out of it”.

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  7. Oh my ……. (Fig) As for the post – you handled it perfectly!!! I love the licked candy bit! I hate that kids bully other kids. My daughter is going through a little similar thing where no one gives her the ball in gym. Members of her own team keep the ball away from her. She’s pretty upset. It’s so hard sometimes …. and her face breaks my heart.

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