Flash and I were baptized today.

It was a day of serving, learning and obeying.
I hope we both have a lifetime of this.

For anyone who understands the significance, after we returned to our pew, I noticed a mother in front of me directing her daughter’s attention to the windows. When I looked, there was a beautiful red cardinal sitting outside the church window looking in. In all the months of attending Haven, I have never seen a bird perch on the window like that. And today, of all days, the day of our baptism, to have a cardinal sitting there. Well, God, I got the message.

And Mom? I love you too.

We attend a contemporary service at a Reformed Church in town. George and family joined us for our baptism service and got to enjoy the incredible praise music that we sing and enjoy. With Flash playing trumpet with the band, George noticed the words to the songs up on the big screen for everyone to join in.

“I didn’t know they sang karaoke at church, Mom!” was his reply.

Oh, George.

At this time all those years ago, I wasn’t even on my way to the hospital yet.

Today I’ve already been to Blockbuster (Wii games and movies) and the grocery store (homemade pizza – birthday boy’s dinner choice).

At this time 13 years ago, I was trying to convince my dad it didn’t matter what their original plans were for coming down to see the baby, I was five days past due, I was having contractions and there was going to be a baby SOON.

Today, I am trying to convince Flash that even though it IS time for the guests to arrive, they might not be right on time and his pacing isn’t helping matters.

13 years ago I had a bag packed for the hospital with neutral -colored newborn clothes and some comfortable post-delivery clothes for me.

Today, Flash has chips, soda, pizza, ice cream, games, movies and and a laptop. I have 2 movies, a laptop and a book all waiting in my room (for when the boys deem me too “uncool” to hang with them in the living room.)

This time thirteen years ago I was a nervous wreck about the next 12 hours of labor (which turned out to be about 5 hours of labor – and no, that’s not always better.)

Today I’m a nervous wreck about the next 15 hours of PARTAY in this small apartment.

13 years ago I hadn’t slept well in months, I was achey and tired and really grouchy and I just wanted a good night’s sleep.

Today, I feel like the past couple of weeks have lasted a year, that I’ve aged and stressed and worried enough for a lifetime and that all I want is a good night’s sleep.

13 years ago, at 12:31 on May 2nd, the doctor handed me a beautiful, healthy boy, my little Mr. Wrinkles (he’s had a lot of nicknames in his lifetime).

Today, I look UP to talk to Flash, laughing about the antics of our days and sharing his excitement over a party with friends, gifts and celebrating the life that has brought me the most joy during mine.

Let the ParTAY begin!! (and may it never end – metaphorically, of course. At some point, I really DO want some sleep!)

I’ve been praying for God to give me an answer and today He did.

The house is not to be ours. At least not right now.

The homeowners are in way over their heads and are going to have to go through the process of foreclosure. It’s a long process, but perhaps months down the road, if we’re still interested, there might be another window for us to express an interest.

In the meantime, I’m taking a break from the search. I’m emptying my house of the boxes we’ve collected and I am going to take some of the saved money and pay off my car.

But I know God has a great plan for us, and I know that it is better than we can imagine.

I know this.

But for a few moments tonight, when I am normally praying that God would help me to know what to do with this house, I just might cry. But only for a moment. Only for a moment.

If you have Facebook…

Go to the very bottom of your FB page and where it says “English (US)” change it to “English (Pirate)” and then go read your FB page.

OH MY FREAKING GOODNESS I am laughing so hard!!!

And so I counter offered their counter offer.

And I prayed the whole drive home that God would take this in His hands and do with it as He will.

I’m not even sure what I’m hoping for at this point.

I’ll keep you posted.

The seller’s finally counter-offered 6 days later (and well past the deadline). The counter was ugly. They gave not an inch. It would seem they are in quite a bind, owing significantly more than the house is worth.

So here I sit.

I’ve been praying that God would be very clear about what He wants me to do. Without a shadow of a doubt, I knew this was the right house, but I don’t know if this is the right time. We’re kind of pushing things to get in and I hate to jump into a mortgage when I’m working 10 months out of the year at a silly hourly rate without benefits. But, then again, I have done the math and believe we can make it work, even if it is a tight budget.

I guess I just don’t know what God is saying. I’m trying to be still and listen but my heart is saying I LOVE THIS HOUSE and my head is saying ARE YOU CRAZY?! and my soul is saying, God takes care of things when it is done for His glory, and well, I’m left with a whole bundle of I know not what to do’s.

What would make this easier? If there was any hope that I’d be teaching full-time in the fall (but local districts are laying off). If I had a bit more money in the bank than I do. Even if I had a part-time job that just brought in a little extra cash.

So I’m praying and I’m thinking and I’ll have to get back to the seller in a couple of days but until then, I’m waiting on God. And I’m hoping He speaks loudly.

Ever try to teach an internet lesson to a lab full of Kindergarten students when Internet Explorer isn’t working and Firefox wants to do an update? When you open Google to talk about Search Engines and instead of the recognizable-even-to-Kinders logo, they’ve gone and made the “Google” into Morse Code or something unreadable (a hump I thought we had gotten over since it was no longer the “Earth Day” motif). Even if you can get past that with grace, your plans will again be thwarted when you realize that after “fixing” your latest computer problems, the gurus left your lab without Adobe Flash player or Shockwave, making all the internet activities you have planned for your students unable to run with multiple error messages popping up on their screens sending them into complete turmoil and panic.

At this point, when you realize you’re going to have to bag the internet activity altogether and you tell the students to go to an old standby software program, the computers will take so long to load and open the program that they will not actually have any time to draw or design, but will have to line up without creating a thing.

It was that kind of a bummer of a day.

Maybe it’s a sign that someday I will actually live in Maine, I don’t know. But on a rainy Saturday, I still love the beach. I love the sound of the waves more than anything. I’m easily annoyed by people laughing too loudly or talking too much. So on a day when the beach is deserted, I’m truly at peace.

I could just sit and listen for hours. The splash of the water on the pier catches me off guard and makes me laugh out loud. The feel of sand between my toes, and cool lake water on my feet touches my soul in a way that little else does.

Today, we field tripped to the water. But it feels like we had a brief visit to Heaven.